Are Rape Fantasies Common?

Posted June 6, 2011 by

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It seems strange and uncommon that some females actually have fantasies about being raped in their dating lives and it could be speculated if these women could have some deep-seated psychological issues they need to sort out.  Why would anyone want to fantasize about something that in reality is extremely traumatic, life-altering and horrifying?

However, don’t make the call to your nearest psychiatric ward yet, for rape fantasies are actually not that rare surprisingly enough.  Like watching a scary movie or riding an extreme roller coaster, rape fantasies allow those to experience scary and adrenaline rushing moments with absolutely no risk.   If it fantasy, then it is accepted and nothing truly is wrong with the individual.

According to sex dating surveys done from 1973 to 2008, studies show that about 4 in 10 women admit to having simulated rape fantasies with their partners.  In fact, the numbers may be higher since there are so many women out there that are probably too afraid to admit their so-called perversions to the world.

So why are women attracted to this fantasy?  Many believe that the fantasies can be erotic because they simply just want to have rough sex with their partner in real-life.  Also, rape fantasies are also spawned from many romance novels where the man usually forces the woman who is lusting after him into sexual situations.  Books are also not the only outlet for these fantasies as many movies and televisions such as Rescue Me, Sex and The City, Twin Peaks and Brian De Palma’s Dressed to Kill have also displayed a woman’s need to be dominated by performing rape fantasies onscreen.

So are you in need of psychiatric help if you have these fantasies? Not at all!  Fantasies are neither absurd or perverted.  They could just mean you want to spice it up in the bedroom and there is nothing wrong with that.

About the Author

Paul Abbey
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Paul Abbey has a Masters Degree in Sexual Health from the University of Sydney in Australia. He has authored several self-help novels and has been a guest speaker in four Continents and many different cities from around the world. At, Abbey is the leading authority in human sexuality and he strives to help shape the dating community into a more relevant and understanding place for both men and women.