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Can You Love Two People At The Same Time?

Posted June 14, 2011 by

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“Torn between two lovers feeling like a fool, loving both of you is breaking all the rules” Mary Macgregor

Romantic comedies and outdated Archie comics have taught us from a young age that loving two people at the same time in our adult dating lives is a fictional taboo only to be believed by nymphomanics and drama queens.  However, historical evidence clearly points out that humans are in fact capable of being in love with more than one person at a time.

Many songs and popular movies such as XX/XY, Two Lovers and Last Night describe this phenomenon and the hold it has in our dating lives.  After surveying 100 singles, 53 percent of them have admitted to caring about more than one person in a romantic and sexual way.

So why does this occur and why do people try to fight against it?

Loving two people at the same time can happen, unfortunately society revels in the act of commitment and therefore we believe that our emotions are made exclusively for one person at a time. Adults tend to deny their extra-martial feelings by posing the phenomenon as a logical contradiction.

People also fight their feelings for the fear of their committed partner also falling into the trap of loving somebody else.  Think about it: It’s extremely heart-breaking to think about your lover in the arms of somebody else.  How would you feel on the other end?

However, in most cases people deny themselves what makes them truly happy.  Sometimes, one person can provide the emotional love, stability and security one needs in a relationship.  Another person can provide the passion, romance and timeless connection one wants.  It is important to know that if you pursue both options, only heartache, pain and instability will be in your life.

So yes, it is possible to love two different people.  It is however not likely that you can be IN love with both. (At least not equally.)

If you find yourself in this ageless scenario, it is time for you to make a decision as to what and who you want in your life for good.  It’s true that the ‘heart wants what it wants,’ however it is imperative to be realistic about your desires. Decipher what is fleeting infatuation and what is long-lasting love.  Listen to both your mind and your heart and you’ll be able to make the best choice for you.



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Jenny Woodland
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