Five Reasons to Leave Your Ex

Posted February 15, 2011 by

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February 13th is national Break Up With Your Ex day. You might be online dating, thinking you’ve moved on, but if you’re still scrolling your ex’s Facebook profile regularly and accepting her 4 am calls, you haven’t quite moved on.

Trust me, I know how hard finally departing from an ex can be, but here’s how and why you’ve got to do it.

1. To Mourn

You need to cry, rage, despair in order to truly get over your ex. It sucks, but it’s necessary. Being in touch with him/her will not allow you to go through the grieving process properly.

2. To Actually Realize What You Want With Yourself

If the ex is finally out of your life, s/he will eventually leave your mind as well. Once you’re alone with your brain, you will have the clarity of mind to figure out what you actually want next.

3. Stop Idealizing

It is so easy to idealize your former partner, as well the relationship you had with him or her. But it’s equally as easy to stop, sit back for a minute, and focus on all the difficulties, issues and unhappy times you had. You shouldn’t dwell on the painful moments, but make sure you recall and acknowledge them. Idealizing the past will make it fucking impossible to move on to a happy future.

4. No Ex Sex

It’s so tempting. And so easy. It’s 4 am. Your online date went poorly. You’re drunk. You know your ex is willing. But please, just don’t call. Hide your phone. Do something. Just don’t have sex with her/him – it’ll set you hella back emotionally.

5. To Set Up For Actually Being Friends…At Some Point

You can actually be friends with your ex. At some point. But not now. People always make the mistake of thinking they can develop a friendship immediately. This is impossible, because it means you’re not dealing with the loss of you and her (or you and him). You’re still depending on each other. You need some time to truly accept the loss. Then you can reconnect on different terms.

About the Author

Jenny Woodland
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