Girl on Girl Cheating: Not Okay

Posted April 13, 2011 by

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)

Here’s an issue that has been coming up in online dating blogs recently: men who let their girlfriends sleep with other women, and women who accept this offer, and everyone thinking this is cool.

Total bullshit.

By everyone being a-okay with just sex dating other women in an otherwise monogamous relationship, both parties are doing a big disservice to lesbianism, bisexuality and women. Why are men comfortable with this arrangement? Let’s look at the possibilities:

1. He’s not jealous because he feels a woman doesn’t represent any sort of real competition.


A dude might think that sex with another woman is not really sex, In his mind, a penis is needed to really complete it, or if not complete it, he simply things his girlfriend will always prefer sex that involves penile penetration.

Why this isn’t cool:

This totally undermines non-hetero sex. According to this view, non-hetero sex is inferior. Does that not also imply that lesbian relationships are also inferior?

2. He wants in on the action (even just in fantasy.)

He likes the idea of you with another woman because he want to fuck (or dream about fucking) the both of you.

Why this isn’t cool:

Do we really need to further encourage the idea that sex between two women is simply for the sake of a man?

3. He thinks there is no chance of his girlfriend developing romantic feelings for a female sexual partner.

Why this isn’t cool: again, this completely undermines bisexuality. Bi women are simply out to impress men or experiment or some other bullshit – their feelings for other women are inferior or not real.

So, to any ladies who find themselves dating some dude and then being offered this deal, please do not accept. If your boyfriend wants to consider a polyamorous relationship – amazing, but don’t do this I-cheat-with-girls-only bullshit – it’s fucking insulting. Even if you legitimately recognize and feel that sex with another woman is just as (or more!) pleasurable than with a man, and acknowledge that you are just as likely to develop romantic feelings for a female as for a male sex partner, and that you are engaging in the act for your sake only, you are being dishonest by accepting the arrangement if he doesn’t fully and totally comprehend your feelings. And by comprehend, I mean feel, he cannot simply comprehend in theory.

About the Author

Paul Abbey
Author Image

Paul Abbey has a Masters Degree in Sexual Health from the University of Sydney in Australia. He has authored several self-help novels and has been a guest speaker in four Continents and many different cities from around the world. At, Abbey is the leading authority in human sexuality and he strives to help shape the dating community into a more relevant and understanding place for both men and women.