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Hockey Or Porn?

Posted June 27, 2013 by

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So the hockey season is officially over. In a six game Championship Series, The Chicago Blackhawks took away their second Stanley Cup in only four years. Meanwhile, all of those hockey fans in Boston were left wanting of some release. There must be something to get their minds off of the disappointment of their team’s loss. Enter the porn.

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Thanks to the good people at Pornhub, we have a pretty good metric on what was going on for people, at least in Boston and Chicago the night of the final game. At 8Pm, the average porn consumption was way down. And why wouldn’t it be? The hockey game had just started. Any championship series that will make it to six games will be pretty exciting and granted, both Boston and Chicago are pretty big hockey towns. It is interesting that at 8, that Boston has decreased their relative porn consumption twice as much as Chicago. Perhaps Chicago is just that much more of a hornier city and the people there can’t be bothered to take the dicks out of their hands just yet in order to enjoy the game that’s already in progress.

By 10PM, things are starting to even out in both cities. The game is getting close to wrapping up and finally the masturbators of Chicago have all been convinced by their friends and relatives to quit choking their chickens for at least a few minutes while The Blackhawks clean up on the ice. The people of Boston still have their eyes glued to their televisions waiting for some miracle to occur that will turn the game around.

And then 11PM roles around. The game is over. The series is over. The 2013 NHL hockey season is over. The Chicago Blackhawks have won the Stanley Cup! Congratulations Chicago! Obviously in Chicago there’s jubilation in the streets. People are so thrilled that their team has won yet again that they have no time to jerk off. They have a hockey orgasm due to the fact that it was their team and not the rival team that has won the series.

Of course in Boston, it’s another matter. To be in the losing city at the end of a close sports season can be a painful experience. With the devastating feeling of loss, people do what they can to make themselves still feel happy and alive. Thankfully there’s always porn out there. Of course the most striking aspect of the graph above is the 42 point percentage change from 10PM to 11PM in Boston’s porn consumption. The miserable people of Boston were wishing that the sport of hockey had never been invented right about then. What cruel god would let there be a major league sport that would bring the chances of your city up so high, only to let it crash down so terribly. What is left to do in the world? Well you could always have a fantasy of getting blown by three petite blonds at the same time. Let’s get the pornography cranking and try to forget about hockey for a few minutes, at least long enough to get a few drops of cum to shoot out the hole in your dick.

As that cum mixed with the tears of all of those sad people of Boston, I doubt that they realized that they were the subject of one of the most entertaining bits of statistical data in recent days. Will that weak orgasm that they could barely get pumped out be enough to erase the sorrow of the loss of their team. Not likely. When they woke up Tuesday morning what will they remember? That girl getting hammered in her asshole that they looked at for about ten seconds at around 11:30 the night before, or the fact that their beloved Bruins lost the championship series in Game 6 after such a long and hard fought for hockey season? Better luck next year, Boston. Maybe you won’t be needing to resort to porn at the end of the series next year.

And thank you Pornhub. This is one of the most entertaining graphs I’ve seen in a while and great evidence of the correlation of sports viewing and masturbation.

Hockey Or Porn?, 5.0 out of 5 based on 1 rating


About the Author

Paul Abbey
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Paul Abbey has a Masters Degree in Sexual Health from the University of Sydney in Australia. He has authored several self-help novels and has been a guest speaker in four Continents and many different cities from around the world. At Onlinedatingstats.com, Abbey is the leading authority in human sexuality and he strives to help shape the dating community into a more relevant and understanding place for both men and women.