How To Fix Emotional Distance In Your Relationship

Posted June 24, 2011 by

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At the start of any blooming adult dating relationship, the emotional connection between two lovers is at its strongest.  You feel like connected in every way and have never been more in sync.

Over time, the emotional connection between two lovers becomes far more challenging to maintain and if the connection is completely broken, the relationship can receive some devastating blows to both parties’ hearts.

Over 80 percent of breakups and divorce occur because of a broken emotional connection. Instead of repairing it, many opt to call it quits and start anew with someone else unaware of the fact that emotional distance is a common problem every long-term relationship faces at one point or another.

When you’re dating someone who is emotionally distant from you, it can feel like you are descending into quicksand.  It’s a slow and inevitable doom to your relationship and it’s caused by a number of factors such as conflict, stress, gender differences and cultural differences.

Trying to reignite the emotional spark in your relationship by force sometimes seems fleeting and can actually cause more damage to both partners. However, there are some way you can address the lack of a emotional connection between you and your partner.

Pick Your Battles

After you have been in a long-term relationship with someone, you know exactly what buttons to push and it’s important to learn how to avoid needless fights over the little things. 

Communicate With Your Partner

If you haven’t experienced stability in previous relationships, don’t be surprised to experience some problems in your new relationship simply because nothing has gone wrong yet.  It’s important to discuss these fears and issues with your partner.  You may feel emotionally distant, however your partner may just be settling into the relationship. Don’t assume that your partner doesn’t love you simply because they don’t provide many obvious expressions of being in love.

Throw Away Your Baggage!

Just like quicksand, there are only two things that can make you sink faster: panicking and excess baggage.  Let go of previous issues with your partner and your past partners.  Exes have a way getting in the way and if you haven’t dealt with past issues, you’ll never be able to repair your emotional connection with your partner due to the extra weight you are putting on the relationship.

Remember that these changes will not happen overnight.  By making small attempts at repairing your connection, you may surprise yourself how fast your connection will get stronger over time.  Nothing is more heartaching than feeling ‘alone’ in a relationship.  Bridge the emotional connection before it’s too late.

About the Author

Paul Abbey
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Paul Abbey has a Masters Degree in Sexual Health from the University of Sydney in Australia. He has authored several self-help novels and has been a guest speaker in four Continents and many different cities from around the world. At, Abbey is the leading authority in human sexuality and he strives to help shape the dating community into a more relevant and understanding place for both men and women.