Man Tears

Posted April 27, 2011 by

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)

Ok. I am going to admit something some of you might find a bit crazy. And fine, that’s fine, because I kind of have my own online dating rules that I will not necessarily impose on others but kind of secretly think they would be better off with.

So, here it is: if I’ve been dating a guy for over six months, I expect to have seen him cry. Hmmm. Depending on how much we see each other. Maybe a year. Yes, let’s say a year. That bitch better have at least teared up in front of me. Otherwise, I shall judge you, I shall think one of the following things:

1. You are an unfeeling son-of-a-bitch, and man, that just turns me off.

2. Your daddy never hugged you, called you a sissy for crying. You are subsequently emotionally constipated. I don’t feel like dealing with that bullshit.

3. You don’t care about me enough, because if I hurt you in the way I like to hurt people once in a while, and you don’t shed a tear, it means you don’t give enough of a fuck. I need to test you in this way, you see, and if you fail the crying test, you’re out.

PS. I don’t want you to cry all the time. I promise not to cry all the time. But let’s not pretend it’s 1952 and you wear suspenders and eat mashed potatoes for dinner.

About the Author

Jenny Woodland
Author Image