Seeking Solace Online

Posted June 17, 2011 by

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Years ago, people seeking solace in their adult dating relationships would look for some form of comfort for a loss or missed opportunity with others whether it be from drinking themselves silly or starting up an equally beneficial fling with some who truly understands or empathizes.  Unfortunately these days are a lot easier to seek solace even for the smallest inconvenience in their lives and our advanced technology has been the catalyst for the increased number of acts of infidelity and extra-martial affairs.
Even the excessive use of computers, blackberries and iPhones are becoming the number one reason for couples entering therapy sessions. A recent research study validates that couples without a solid foundation in their relationships seek emotional and sexual connections with previous lovers or even strangers online.
During this online dating research study that involved 18,000 Internet-savvy users, doctors found that 41 percent of the participants have admitted to having developed intense and emotional intimacy with people online who were not their partners.
Many people still believe that only physical and sexual contact with someone outside of their relationships and marriages are acts of infidelity.  However, researchers by the names of Henline and Lamke have stated that infidelity now includes: “sexting, cyber sex, online flirting and emotional attachments via text and computers.
Unfortunately, because the possibility of being tempted to stray online has increased, the chances of  being caught have greatly increased as well.
All it takes is a quick glance at your partner’s web history to cause damage into long-term relationships.  A partner seeking emotional or sexual solace with another is always a heartbreaking discovery.  It is never something one can just move on from immediately because what usually precedes this discovery is a partner’s lowered self-esteem and depression from being emotionally and sexually rejected from their spouse or significant other.
To prevent yourselves from going through this painful situation, you must learn to communicate and be honest with your partner.  You should never feel like you should hide your Internet and chat exchanges.  If you are sexually unsatisfied at with your partner, you should talk it out with them. Try new things with them in the bedroom instead of seeking solace from someone in your past or a new friend you’ve made online.  Looking for cheap thrills will only hurt your relationship in the long run.
Every relationship hits a lull from time to time.  As long as you can figure out ways to replenish the level of passion needed to maintain a healthy relationship, you will be able to thrive.


About the Author

Paul Abbey
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Paul Abbey has a Masters Degree in Sexual Health from the University of Sydney in Australia. He has authored several self-help novels and has been a guest speaker in four Continents and many different cities from around the world. At, Abbey is the leading authority in human sexuality and he strives to help shape the dating community into a more relevant and understanding place for both men and women.