She Cheated

Posted February 10, 2011 by

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Someone cheated on you? That’s brutal, man, I’m sorry. This is a tricky one to deal with. I’m sure you have punched a zillion walls by now and ranted about her to every dude bro you know and probably even went on an online dating site and fucked a few women off it in an attempt at revenge.

But you’re still angry.

Here’s how to move on.

1. Forgive Her

She’s human. She has physical desires, like we all do, and sometimes they are extremely difficult to ignore. She had a moment of weakness. I’m not saying you should stay with her – that’s your decision, I’m simply saying that cheating is not the worst thing she could have done in the world. She betrayed your trust, but she didn’t not listen to you at 4 am the night your best friend attempted to commit suicide, and she didn’t stab your mother. Try to see this as it is – a human imperfection, not a personal attack; if you succeed, you won’t feel so much bitterness.

2. Don’t Blame Yourself, but Do Think About Your Behavior

There’s a fine line between blaming yourself for HER inappropriate behavior and thinking about whether you played a part in the infidelity. If she, for example, had been trying to communicate with you that she was unhappy in the bedroom, because unlike the rest of her online dates, you refused to perform oral sex on her, you might want to consider the fact that you might be a sexist moron. However, if she expressed nothing but satisfaction with your sex, you shouldn’t even begin to think you had any part to play in the infidelity. And in the end, please don’t forget that cheating is always purely her fault. If she was sexually unhappy, she should have dealt with it by communicating with you, or leaving you.

3. Don’t Punish Others

Inevitably, you’re going to have a hard time not being suspicious of future partners. However, you absolutely must give a new partner the benefit of the doubt. Remember: they are not your ex girlfriend. The only choice you have is to treat everyone as innocent until proven guilty. Being paranoid is just going to create an atmosphere of mistrust and lead to the eventual demise of the relationship.

About the Author

Paul Abbey
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Paul Abbey has a Masters Degree in Sexual Health from the University of Sydney in Australia. He has authored several self-help novels and has been a guest speaker in four Continents and many different cities from around the world. At, Abbey is the leading authority in human sexuality and he strives to help shape the dating community into a more relevant and understanding place for both men and women.