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The Pros And Cons Of ‘Juggling’

Posted June 25, 2013 by

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wbmay09_archie_400x300So lets say you meet an amazing person, lets say on a popular online dating site for instance, and you go on a few dates and they’re great. Not feeling like you’re necessarily exclusive or anything, you connect with a couple of more people and find someone else to be equally enticing and datable. Then the first person comes back into your life and all of a sudden you’re in a rather awkward situation of dating two people at once. What do you do?

Despite the fact that most people frown on dating multiple partners at the same time, a lot of us had tried it. A recent online dating study has confirmed that 53 percent of singles have dated multiple people at the same time. In spite of the fact that you can occasionally run in to very uncomfortable circumstances, dating multiple partners can often be an exciting prospect for many singles.

Free dating sites have prospered on juggling and it’s no surprise since so many singles these days are indecisive and are ready to explore all their romantic options from every angle. Considering the numbers, it’s more than likely that you yourself have at some point been in this very circumstance.

Just like every dating situation, there are certain pros and cons that need to be taken into consideration.  Here is a list of a few of them:

Pros

Dating More Than One Person At Once Can Make You A Better Dating Companion For Both Partners -When you are dating more frequently, you have a better concept of playing the field. You are able to gain far more confidence in yourself and because you have more options, your nerves are usually at ease. Also, the pressure of feeling  like this particular date might be the very key to your eternal happiness can be very stressful. If you know in the back of your head that you’ve got someone else waiting in the wings, that pressure can be relieved slightly and you’ll be more relaxed and ironically a better date because of it.

You Can Compare Lovers - Have you ever been in a situation when you’re dating someone exclusively but wonder if someone else is far more compatible with you? Well, if you juggle dates, you won’t have to wonder because you will know first hand who you have more in common with. Maybe you’ll like the way one person does something, but like the other person for something else that they do. If both partners are getting more and more serious and you feel like you have to make a choice between one or the other, you know what’s most important and which person makes you feel better. It gives you more control.

The Dating Process Goes Quicker - When you are looking for someone special, you don’t have to waste months out of your time dating the wrong person. In fact, when you are courting multiple partners at the same time, you don’t have to waste any time on people who aren’t compatible with you in the long run. You can just can just move on to the next person. It’s sort of like each partner is in a contest for you that they might not realize they’re participating in, and you are the judge.

one-girl-two-guys

Cons

It can make you a commitment-phobe – When you are used to dating multiple people at the same time, it could become a habit that’s hard to break! You start dating with the initial desire to find that one perfect person, and you get so wrapped up in the dating process that you don’t see that you have already found the person you’ve been looking for. Going out with different people at the same time could potentially turn you into a chronically disatisfied person over time. You’ll be always looking over that next hill for something better, checking the dating sites that you’ve signed up for to see if there are any new eligible singles that are worth dating. It reminds me of a statistic that I heard once (this is probably a topic for another article, actually) that people in arranged marriages are often happier with their partners than people who aren’t. It’s what people like to call the paradox of choice, that too many options will usually increase one’s unhappiness.

It will definitely complicate your life – When you see these situations happen on television or in movies, it usually ends up blowing in their faces in a funny way. Unfortunately, in the real-life when it blows up in your face, it’s never pretty.  You run the risk of hurting other people and breaking their hearts. There is nothing “sitcom funny” about that. Usually the longer both relationships drag on, the more hoops you’ll have to jump through in order to prevent both people from meeting. It could even happen independently without you in the picture at all. When each person meets, and become instant friends, imagine the shock that they’ll have when they realize that they already have you in common. You won’t want to be at the other end of that conversation!

It Can Turn Off “The One” For You - So let’s say you actually are up front about the fact you are seeing multiple people and they’re both fine with that, it could still actually hurt you in the long run. You might not realize it yet, but maybe one of your partner’s is actually the one that you would want to spend the rest of your life with potentially. If you are dating “the one,” there’s a good chance that they won’t care to stick around long enough to see who you will choose. Even if both partners are basically okay with the arrangement, it doesn’t make anyone feel all that good about themselves to know that they have to share you.

 

I’ll be frank. I know this from personal experience that this can be great for a while and then all too often get bad. Has anyone been in this situation, or maybe in this situation right now? Let’s continue the discussion in the comments.

 

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Jenny Woodland
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