The Top 7 Flirtation Killers

Posted April 20, 2011 by

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Ah, flirting…my favorite pasttime. If you are dating, you need to know how to do it. I can’t tell you how you should flirt because I think everyone should find their own style. However, there are definitely some flirtation killers I can tell you about. Read on, my adult dating friends:

1. Boogers. Um, yeah, dangling boogers or even bookers that are just peaking out are just too much of a distraction. I definitely can’t concentrate on those sexy things you’re saying when your snot is also trying to say hello.

2. Bad Spelling &/Or Improper Use of Simple Grammer. No, thanks.

3. Bad Texts. Over-use of emoticons. Don’t fucking smiley face me, bitch!

4. Inappropriate touching. Sure, lightly brush against my arm, but if you grab my ass I will have your balls in a vice-grip in 0.5 seconds.

5. Awful jokes. Why do you keep telling jokes if your comic timing sucks? If you’re not funny, don’t try to be. Show me some other part of your brain.

6. Eating like a Cow. I never knew a human jaw could move sideways like that.

7. Offering drugs. Okay, okay, a joint maybe, but no, no, I definitely don’t want to do a line of coke with you in the bathroom.

About the Author

Jenny Woodland
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