Why Nice Guys Finish Last

Posted May 31, 2011 by

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Have you ever wondered why so many attractive girls end up leaving you for men that will eventually treat them like dirt?  Trust me, you’re not the only one.  If you are generally an all around nice guy, chances are you have been jilted in your dating life more times than you would like to count.  According to a recent online dating survey, 56 percent men have been dumped because they were just too darn nice.

A wise girl once told me that ‘nice’ stands for No Intense Connection Ever.  It’s funny because there are reasons why nice guys finish last and sometimes it’s the so-called nice guys faults.

You Put Down Other Men

If the only way you can get a woman to pay attention to you is to point out how every guy around you is a jerk, then you are not helping your love life at all. Putting down other men does not make you a good guy. It just makes you a cowardly one. Women are attracted to passion not whining. It’s pretty easy to see through the facade. It looks like you’re simply giving helpful friendly advice, but it’s all too obvious that you’re just trying to get into her pants as well, and it’s not attractive.


Convincing Her To Like You

If a girl doesn’t like you, move on. Don’t try to compare yourself to the loser men she has dated in the past. You can’t change the way she feels or doesn’t feel for you. Don’t be the pathetic nice guy. You might think that your kindness and charm will shine through and make you the most attractive man possible, yet you might know what she actually finds attractive. Your niceness might be coming across as weakness — you behave more like one of her girlfriends rather than what she might be actually looking for in a boyfriend.

Looking For Her Permission

You may think that giving a woman everything she wants is a good thing, but rather it’s a horrible thing to do. Why do you think women leave nice guys like yourself for bad boys?  They are attracted to men who can’t give them everything they want, that’s why! Remember, you don’t have to treat a woman poorly for her to like you.

Being a Coward

Do you know how most men get put in the “just friends” zone? It’s because they were too cowardly to act or to say how they feel to a woman. Believe it or not, the object of your affections already knows how you feel. She probably knew when you wanted to kiss her or to hold her hand. If you don’t speak your mind, the woman will be turned off by you. Women need men that exude confidence and charm.  Remember that.

It is imperative to know that ‘nice’ doesn’t always mean ‘good.’ A man doesn’t have to treat a woman like a princess or a piece of excrement to get her attention. All he has to do is have confidence in himself, behave like a challenge and avoid being compared to the character Aidan Shaw at all times in order to avoid from being put into the “Nice” category. If not, he will never stop hearing “You’re a really nice guy, but…”

About the Author

Paul Abbey
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Paul Abbey has a Masters Degree in Sexual Health from the University of Sydney in Australia. He has authored several self-help novels and has been a guest speaker in four Continents and many different cities from around the world. At, Abbey is the leading authority in human sexuality and he strives to help shape the dating community into a more relevant and understanding place for both men and women.